{"id":324,"date":"2003-07-30T23:51:17","date_gmt":"2003-07-30T23:51:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mikegerhardt.com\/mg\/?p=324"},"modified":"2015-02-03T16:21:46","modified_gmt":"2015-02-04T00:21:46","slug":"shit-outta-luck","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.mikegerhardt.com\/mg\/2003\/07\/30\/shit-outta-luck\/","title":{"rendered":"Shit Outta Luck"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here’s a quintessentially Alaskan story, courtesy of my sister’s friend, Michelle:
\nA few years ago, at a music festival held in the small (very small) town of Hope, Alaska<\/a>, a problem arose with the Porta-Potty<\/a> facilities. A collection of the portable toilets had been trucked into town for the dramatic increase in the town’s population during the festival.<\/p>\n

On the second day of the festival, with the Porta-Pottys filled to capacity, the crowds became restless. A festival organizer took to the stage to announce that, as good festival organizers, they had anticipated waste management needs correctly and that fresh Porta-Pottys had been on their way by truck from Anchorage. Unfortunately, the truck had hit a moose en route<\/span>, so fresh cans would not be arriving that day.<\/p>\n

It’s a fairly common occurrence in Alaska for cars — and occasionally trains — to hit moose. And the results are generally not pretty, especially for the vehicles. When I was a child, living in Denali National Park, my family signed up on a list that offered free moose meat. All you had to do was wait your turn for a moose to get hit (or killed illegally). We shared ours with another family, butchering the moose and packing it away in the freezer. Road kill that feeds a family.<\/p>\n

But I don’t know how I’d feel about getting a moose that was hit by the Porta-Potty truck.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here’s a quintessentially Alaskan story, courtesy of my sister’s friend, Michelle: A few years ago, at a music festival held in the small (very small) town of Hope, Alaska, a problem arose with the Porta-Potty facilities. A collection of the portable toilets had been trucked into town for the dramatic increase in the town’s population… Continue reading Shit Outta Luck<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ramblings"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5heLP-5e","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mikegerhardt.com\/mg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mikegerhardt.com\/mg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mikegerhardt.com\/mg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mikegerhardt.com\/mg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mikegerhardt.com\/mg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=324"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.mikegerhardt.com\/mg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":526,"href":"http:\/\/www.mikegerhardt.com\/mg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324\/revisions\/526"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.mikegerhardt.com\/mg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mikegerhardt.com\/mg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.mikegerhardt.com\/mg\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}